Skip the New Year, New Me Trend was originally published on Ivy Exec.
By nature, people resist change.
Our minds are hardwired to like safety and routine.
Whenever someone or something tries to force a change in our routines, we consciously or unconsciously attempt to defend our routines.
That is why making any type of change in our lives is very difficult. Making a decision is only the first step in the process.
Are you true to yourself?
Your goal is to lose 50 pounds and go to the gym 5 times a week, but you hate going to the gym.
Every time you have to go, you feel like someone needs to put a gun to your head to make you do it. In that case, you are setting yourself up for failure. You are going against what you authentically like. It might not be your thing to go to the gym, but you might enjoy hiking, skating, or dancing. That is what you should do.
A lot of people and the media try to convince us that there is only ONE WAY to do something. And that is far from the truth.
There are infinite ways to do something.
When you want to make a change, you need to ask yourself a couple of questions first:
- Why do I want to do this?
- How do I feel about the WAY I’m trying to make a change?
- Is there an alternative way to accomplish this that I would prefer?
- How will I feel after making this change?
- How will this change impact other aspects of my life?
- What am I really trying to achieve?
Answering these questions is critical to your success in making a change. Because change is always difficult and challenges just keep piling. Something that will keep you going is your WHY. Your authentic why, your deep resonating why.
For example, you want to change jobs. Why? Because that will better align with your career goals. Why? Because your goal is to become a leader. Why? Because you want to feel accomplished.
Interesting right? It takes a couple of questions and asking yourself why to get somewhere authentic. Imagine if you got to the point where you realize that you want to feel accomplished.
You can now ask yourself two different questions:
- Why do I want to feel accomplished?
- What is another way that I can feel accomplished?
This will do so much for your change strategy. The answer to the first question might lead you to the fact that you need validation from others. And the answer to the second question might lead you to an alternative way to get validation, other than leading people in a company.
When you get to that point where you fully understand WHY you want to do something, everything else will come into place. You will know exactly what you want and all of the ways you can do it.
This will do so much more for your confidence than going against yourself in order to accomplish something, even though you are not sure why you want to do it. Because that is the road to failure. And after you failed a couple of times, you might lose that initial drive and enthusiasm.
Work smart, not hard
You might be used to seeing a lot of those – I woke up at 4 a.m. and did 20 things before you wake up – type of posts on social media. It’s okay to grind. It’s not ok to base your entire life around grinding.
Key elements to achieving success with change:
- Finding your authentic way
- Exploring all ways to accomplish your why
- Accept the fact that you will not be perfect with it
- Come back to it even after you have fallen back
- Remind yourself that you do this FOR you, not AGAINST you
- Remind yourself that you are doing enough and that YOU ARE ENOUGH
Everything else in your life might be temporary, but you will spend the rest of your life with your mind, your emotions, your mindset, your challenges, and your virtues.
Get comfortable with speaking honestly with yourself and accepting yourself as you are. And if you want to make some changes after that, by all means, do it. Although this time you’ll know why you’re doing it.
Anastazija Gavrilovic, Senior Career Advisor